Willing Doormats

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” (Mt 5:38-40)

This verse can easily spark debate in Christian circles.  Jesus would go on to talk about giving people more than they ask for, sharing all that you have with them, all while never asking for anything in return.  Whenever these verses come up, (as a quick Google search will confirm), there is an almost immediate cry of, “But don’t be a doormat!  Christians don’t have to let people walk all over them!”

My thoughts are this:  Should we let people do this?  No. 

But should we willingly choose to take abuse, give when we are asked, and go above and beyond for others?

I think the answer for the Christian can only be “yes.” 

Jesus was certainly no doormat.  He had no issue with speaking His mind, throwing money-changers out of the Temple, calling out religious hypocrisy, or declaring unpopular truths.  He was strong and confidant, to say the least. 

And yet, Jesus took abuse that He didn’t deserve without retaliation, He gave to all who asked of Him, He served continually without complaint, and then, of course, He literally laid down His life for others.  As He was being arrested, His disciples attempted to defend Him, coming to His aid with violent intent.  Jesus had this to say:

“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.  Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?  But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” (Mt 26:52-54)

Is Christ acting as a classic “doormat” here, letting others take what they wanted without standing up for Himself or defending Himself? 

Well, yes.  Of course.  It is the essence of the Cross.

But He was no doormat.  The title of this entry is therefore a bit misleading.  A “doormat” is someone who lets people walk all over them and take from them because they lack the backbone to do otherwise.  A Christ-follower is one who, secure in themselves and their God, knows how to take a punch without retaliation, who serves others even when they get nothing back, who can lay their own preferences aside in order to bless others, and who does all of this peacefully, without expectation and without grumbling, because they follow a Saviour who laid down His life for others. 

A doormat lets others have their way, in the name of fear or insecurity.  A Christ-follower chooses to give others their way, in the name of love. 

There is something so Christ-like in taking a hit (physical, verbal, or otherwise) and simply taking it (see 1Pe 2:19-21).  There is something so Christ-like in giving far more than is asked of you, not because you can’t say no, but because you know you can be a blessing.  There is something so Christ-like in letting others have their way, all in the name of loving them, because you are strong enough and secure enough to know who you are. 

The difference is in the intention.  We should not let people take from us – but only because we are too busy giving freely!  

Something in My Eye

"Christians get very angry toward other Christians who sin differently than they do." ~ Philip Yancey

 

The person in my office was very annoyed with something that I had said in a recent Sunday morning sermon.  It was a very minor theological difference, but they were very frustrated that I had said it, and were getting a little nasty about it.  Rather than “agreeing to disagree,” they wanted me to retract the statement and issue a public apology.  When I said that I didn’t feel the statement warranted such a reaction, they told me that I was too young, too inexperienced, and too “worldly” to be a pastor. 

 

Years later, I still stand by my original statement, and although the words hurt at the time, I have long since let them go.  I do, however, revisit the conversation from time to time, often when I’m wrestling with how Christians should speak to one another, and the questions of when is it OK to criticize/raise a concern, and what is the manner in which we do it?

 

Jesus had this to say:

 

^“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?   How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?   You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Mt 7:3-5)

 

So, a few things to point out here:

 

1. This is not a passage about ranking sin (“Clearly planks are bigger than specks!”)  The point is that, whatever sin we may see in another is miniscule compared to the responsibility we have of working on our own garbage. 

 

2. Our own sin blinds our vision.  Very rarely, I get a migraine headache, which is always preceded by about 30 minutes of my eyesight starting to “shimmer,” (called an “aura”), where the best way to describe it is that everything kind of goes wavy. 

The point is, when my vision is thus altered, it’s hard to do anything – I can’t read, I can’t drive, I can’t watch TV...everything is too blurry.  I just can’t see clearly.

 

So it is with a “plank” in my eye.  I never feel like I have blind spots, but of course this isn’t the case.  My vision is skewed by my own sin, making my judgment of others never fully accurate.  Jesus warns us about jumping to conclusions about others, because doing so can only be presumptuous for those of us who can’t see clearly.

 

 

3. Clearly, these verses teach us about hypocrisy of focusing on others without focusing on our own faults. (I can say that confidently, on account of Jesus using the words, “You hypocrite!” in there!)  However, as much as it is about “taking the plank out” of one’s own eye, what it’s really about is working on yourself so that you can be a help to others.  Get rid of what’s blinding you, so that you can see clearly to help your friend. 

 

One of the main reasons that programs like AA are so successful is that the people leading are recovering alcoholics themselves.  They have been there, so they have a real perspective on the struggle, and they know how to help.  The person who has practiced self-plank-removal is well-suited to help another clear their eye out. 

 

This also shows us that the only reason I can ever point out a fault in another is if I’m willing to commit myself to helping them get rid of it.  There is absolutely no place in the Kingdom for criticism without commitment to fixing the problem.  In other words: if we want to raise a concern, but aren’t prepared to dedicate ourselves to the solution, we had best keep our mouths shut!

 

As well, the eye is supremely delicate and sensitive.  You can’t just jam your finger into someone’s eye socket and try and dig that speck out.  It takes gentleness, care, planning, and finesse.  In the name of “telling the truth,” some have done incredible damage by the WAY that they have shared it.  We should always speak the truth, but we can’t ever do it in a way that isn’t loving, gentle, and kind. (Gal 5:22-23)

 

We should probably also invest in some kind of safety-goggles....seems like a lot stuff getting stuck in eyeballs is happening around here...

The Other John 3:16

“Feeling spiritually 'off'?  Love someone sacrificially. Give your life to serve another. Your spirit will realign with

God's Spirit in you.”

~ Bruxy Cavey

John 3:16 is perhaps the best-known verse in all of Scripture – it’s been called “the Gospel in a nutshell.”  No, I won’t quote it here for you.  What’s the matter, your arms are broken?  Go look it up yourself!

Alright, here: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

The Gospel in a nutshell, indeed – the plan of God (Jesus bringing us eternal life), the motivation for that plan (His great love for us), and the faith required to receive it – it the essence of the Gospel, made beautiful and simple and clear. 

However, John wrote more than just the one book – we actually have several of his writings recorded in the New Testament.  In a later letter, known as the first letter of John, there is another key verse – interestingly, also recorded as chapter 3, verse 16:

 “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (1st Jn 3:16)

 

If John 3:16 is the Gospel in a nutshell, then 1^st John 3:16 is our response to the Gospel in a nutshell.  In two short sentences, both our reaction to the Gospel, and the reasoning for it, are laid out with great clarity.  Jesus willingly laid down his life for us; we should willingly lay down our lives for others.

 Why?

Because that’s what love does.

For all of the poets, philosophers, storytellers and songwriters of history, who have written and sung of love’s immeasurable quality, love’s indefinable attributes, and love’s incomprehensible vastness, here we have a very simple explanation of what real love looks like.

How do you know if you truly love someone?

When you lay down your own life for their sake.

Jesus did it for us, and calls us to do it for others.  What does it mean to lay down our lives for another?  While there are a variety of answers, the nature of it is this: whatever it practically looks like, it calls for a selflessness and a devotion to others’ well-being that is so radical that it can be likened to metaphorically dying for them.  It means, in every sense, that you come first over me – and that I am happy to do so – because I love you.   

Jesus’ love meant dying for us.  When we are willing to lay down our own agendas, desires, plans, and needs for the sake of others, then we are walking just like He did (1Jn 2:6). 

 

 





 

Top-Down Leadership

"The compassionate life is the life of downward mobility! In a society in which upward mobility is the norm, downward mobility is not only discouraged but even considered unwise, unhealthy, or downright stupid." ~ Henri Nouwen

 

 

I've never watched the reality show "Big Brother," mostly due to my policy of trying to avoid things that are really stupid.  Although, I'm a lifelong Toronto Maple Leafs fan, so who knows what I know about anything?  Thankfully, my wife does not share a similar policy, or I would still be single today. 

 

In the news recently, there has been a story of the current cast of "Big Brother," in which a live video feed of the house, which streams 24/7 and records all of the goings-on of the cast, has recorded numerous cast members making racist, sexist, and otherwise inappropriate comments.  While reality TV has levelled the playing field of stardom for many, clearly there are some who are just not meant for the spotlight.  In their desire for fame, money, and power, some castmates unfortunately will be best remembered for their awful off-hand comments instead. 

 

Our hunger to be recognized, to be praised, and to be "at the top" is well-encouraged in the world, with a culture that applauds gifts and talents that impress us, and pays little attention to such characteristics as integrity, commitment, patience, and faithfulness.  The idea of "sacrifice" is easily forgotten, and "sharing with others" is a kindergarten staple that often seems to dry up the older we get.  The drive for "more" is far more pervasive than we may think, even for those of us who live modestly.  Something in us is always looking down the road to something bigger, better, more secure. 

 

Contrast that with Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest who was an internationally-known author and professor at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard.  He authored many books, and lectured all over the world.  While at the height of his academic prestige and renown, he chose to leave it all behind, choosing a more humble existence, living out the rest of his life working at a small compound for special needs patients in Richmond Hill, ON. 

 

As is so often the case, Jesus teaches us what is counterintuitive and countercultural. In a world that values the climbing of ladders and the increase of position and prestige, Jesus points us in a different direction altogether:

 

 “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—  just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt 20:25-28) 

 

The power of Jesus' teachings will always be that He not only taught with great wisdom, but He also lived out everything that He taught.  Not only did He instruct us on choosing the more humble path, He also demonstrated it for us in the way He lived, and in the way He embraced the cross for our sake.  Service is the key to success in God's eyes, and even the greatest leaders in the Kingdom must be well-grounded there in order to be considered "great." 

 

Bigger is not always better.  And humility is not always an easy choice.  But the way of compassion always takes us away from ourselves, as we give ourselves up in the service of others.  What does it mean to be a "servant" and a "slave" to another?  Only you know what it means for yourself - but I imagine, if you really thought about it, it wouldn't be difficult to figure out a few situations in which it might apply...

 

"This is the way of downward mobility, the descending way of Jesus. It is the way toward the poor, the suffering, the marginal, the prisoners, the refugees, the lonely, the hungry, the dying, the tortured, the homeless--toward all who ask for compassion. What do they have to offer? Not success, popularity, or power, but the joy and peace of the children of God." ~ Nouwen